tough as a nut and cunning as a wagon load of monkeys......

i know that is quite a random title but i think that is what i aspire to be

it has been a difficult couple of weeks for me. i have at various times been - discouraged, panicked by self doubt, enraged, wallowing in self pity, and i took a bit of wound to the heart. now, before you think i should be medicated or put in the nervous hospital i should add that for the most part i have been able to conduct my daily affairs and carry on happy as a clam. i have been crafting up a storm. i have been bombarded with ideas - in the shower, before i go to sleep and weirdly when i cleaning the cat litter box. i feel content and hopeful

and.... i had customers in the store - real ones. not just the imaginary ones i convo with when i'm cleaning. those chicks are quite complementary, they say things like "you've lost some weight" or "if i had half of your talent". the real customers are very nice as well and much better because they have actual wallets. i love watching people choose things for a project. sometimes it almost makes me cry, their creative energy is something you can almost see. it is a happy high.

but as the 11th hour approaches, i must give myself a bit of pep talk. a guide to follow for daily sanity

my pinata theory

everyday you receive a life pinata. what's inside that puppy will be the framework for your day and you must get it out. some of us will whack it with a stick, others shake the shit out of it and the rest with kick it in the balls. i'm more of the kicking type

so all this stuff fall out of your pinata and now you have to sort through it. some of things are easily recognized as belonging to you. those are the things you must do everyday.

 some of things are your problems and burdens - pick those up because they will just keep coming back if you don't recognize them.   BUT BEWARE not all the problems are yours. sometimes you accidentally or habitually pick up other peoples problems. now if you realize you've picked up someone elses shit, either quickly put it down or better yet, if you know who's shit it is put it down beside that person and say inside your head "i believe this shit is actually yours"

now, all over the ground are all your little pieces of possibilities. don't be afraid to pick them up. some of them may turn out negative - a bit of bad karma. but most of them are all the opportunities you have yet to take advantage of. a smile that leads to friend, a chance to create good karma, permission slips to be creative.....and so on

now all that's left down there are your blessings for the day. grab those and read them right sway. commit them to memory. they will help you through all the difficult parts of your day. your blessings may be big - health, family, friends or something quite small like making a baby laugh or a new magazine.

there you have bevy's blueprint to a successful day