Friday, February 8, 2013

arrange your face.......


this is what my mother says when she is getting ready to go out, "i must go arrange my face" or she says the ever popular, "i must go put on my face". well, i must do the same as i have found myself in possession of some blog awards. i can't think that i deserve any trophies but this is hollywood and these things sometimes happen. amy, from ADDled who i'm very fond of and anna from The Silent Isle who i feel myself becoming very fond of and chris from Life Your Way who i'm practically married to, have bestowed upon me some fabulous hardware and made me sausage queen for a day. i also know that kate, who i feel very maternal towards,  from nested presented me with one a bit ago but i think that may have expired.  i decided to use my two versatile blog awards, from amy and jane, as breast plates and the blog of the year from chris to cover my lady bits. if my nod from kate is still effective i'll be fashioning it into a shield of some sort 


The Rules for the Versatile Blogger are:


             1) Thank the blogger who nominated you and include a link to their site

             2) Add the Versatile Blogger Award picture to your blog post

              3) Nominate 7 fellow bloggers and include a link to their site.

              4) Let them know you have nominated 
               5) Share 7 random facts about you 


(1) thank you amyannachris and a belated thank you to kate. these are all lovely talented women and i appreciate their support and encouragement. go show them some love.
(2) done
      cindy at http://starlitstudio.typepad.com/
      jenn at http://jennsrandomscraps.blogspot.ca/
why! because i like them.
(4) gotcha
(5) seven random facts about myself

random facts
1. i got into massive amounts of trouble in the 3rd grade for organizing a easter egg hunt on the playground for the Jehovah witness students. 

2. i didn't know who the bloggess was until recently. and if i'm being honest, she's no sedaris.  she seems a bit mean. maybe i'll warm up to her. maybe not. please don't hate me kate.

3. i peed on the plains of abraham when i was a little girl. for those who did not study canada's past - in 1759 english and french armies fought on the plains of abraham (in quebec) for control of this part of the world. the land belonged to a farmer named abraham hence the name. this "voiding" of mine has become a point of pride for my mother. whenever canadian history is brought up mom says, "you'd never believe it, but beverly peed on the plains of abraham. she just up and said she couldn't hold it anymore and she pulled her pants down and let it go, right there on the ground." now, hopefully i have done many things in my life that should have merited my mother's pride but apparently open-air urination on a historical battlefield is the one that stuck.

4. i am rarely angry. i get my ass up sometimes but it never last long. i will cheerfully argue someone to death and the fact that people often want to kill me is a source of joy to me.

5. i unknowingly gave someone a book for christmas that contained instructions for making a portable pussy. i guess this information is important if one should find themselves alone in the wilderness and feel the need to make love. i thought i was giving someone a survival book and if i had any sense of dignity i would be embarrassed but alas - not so much

6. in my tiny effort to make the world a better place i visit a residence several times a month and at that residence there lives a chihuahua named buddy and i'm bitten by that chihuahua named buddy at least 3 times between the car and residence. buddy does not trust police officers and apparently me. when i get out the car now i say "jesus christ buddy, just get it over with". i'm staring to look forward to my interaction with him and i make no attempts to gain his trust. i like our relationship the way it is. 

7. i'm addicted to le labo perfume thanks to my god damn sister/friend whose name rhymes with busy. i'm just goofing around about her being damned by god, she's really quite lovely and sweet - it's just i can't remember what i smelled like before "another 13" and my visa bill proves this.


and because i don't know the rules for blog of the year, i give you this

currently i'm .............................

reading - wolf hall . i will probably grow old reading this book. the tome chronicles the life of thomas cromwell and his relationship with henry viii. mr cromwell seems to spend rather a great deal of time walking around fingering his illegal copy of the new testament. i have had to google search characters in this book as my knowledge of all the english reformation homeboys is somewhat dusty.  

listening - of monsters and men, pitbull, damien rice, florence and the machine unplugged and emiem

watching - ricky gervis show, it crowd and swedish crime drama (very hard to sew and read subtitles)

in love with - charley boorman. well actually the charley boorman from 2008. i thought i was over it but apparently i'm not.

waiting for - the cows to start calving and mr. selfridge to be released on amazon.uk

thinking about - almost nothing except why i love pain medication

eating - oranges and more oranges

doing - swimming 4 hours a week, trying for 5

worrying - about starting my craft blog. 

needing - to get my act together

thanks for the love people
bev

61 comments:

  1. Congrats on the awards.I ran a circus class at school were I would teach children how to brake their arms and legs doing acrobatics I couldn't do either.Talk about detention.

    www.dreamingisbelievingreally.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. niki k, you sound like my kind of girl. thanks for stopping in and commenting.

      Delete
  2. WE'RE MARRIED! I LOVE it!!!
    Please don't tell my daughter because I'll NEVER hear the end of it, but I've been sort of wrming up to Pitbull and have no idea why. She's let my love of Eminem slide, accepted my listening to Nelly, but since she's very vocal on her feelings for Pitbull, I'm thinking she'd kick me out of the Folk Music club.
    And Lady, I am honored to be responsible for the covering of your lady bits! *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i mean honestly, don't just feel married. i'm telling you pitbull while swimming really does something for you. yes, i saved the bits parts for you. xxx

      Delete
  3. Congratulations on the awards! It's nice to be recognized as "Sausage Queen"! Too funny! What a fun photograph. -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

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    Replies
    1. hello marci. thanks, it was nice to be sausage queen for the day. i appreciate you dropping by.

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  4. Amazing awards...I am following from over at Fabulously Smitten. Love your blog!
    xoxo
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hello miss debbie. thanks for visiting and following.

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  5. Wolf Hall is next on my reading list--I approach with hesitation at its size, but glad to know there are others who have gone before and survived :) And I love to swim too (but the paddling pool out back is presently frozen.) So nice to get to know a bit more about you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dear anna, hello. i may not survive the life of mr cromwell. there are two more books. i think old what's her face wrote at least 5 pages for each day thomas spent with the king.
      i am lucky to be acquainted with retired farmers who have their own indoor pool. they let me use/rent it. i wouldn't be swimming without it as we are a long way from town. thanks for stopping in.

      Delete
  6. Congrats on all the well-deserved awards and thanks for passing the Versatile Blogger one on to me. I don't see what all the fuss is about The Bloggess either. But then, not even Sedaris is Sedaris these days. However, you ALWAYS make me laugh and then make me feel envious about your talent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. greetings debra. thank you and you're welcome. i know david isn't david these days. that's what money and a steady beau do to a fellow. please, stop with the pretty talk - you'll make all those sausages stick to me.
      seriously, thank you. i really like you. xx

      Delete
  7. I vomited on the Plains of Abraham... high school french trip. Who knew one could buy alcohol at the corner epicerie while under age?

    Congrats on the awards and thank you for the nomination... off to fashion myself some sausage swag.

    Happy weekend!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
    (¸.·´ (¸.·`¤… Jennifer
    http://jennsrandomscraps.blogspot.ca/


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh my god, we have both left dna at national hertiage site. maybe we should do this all across canada. from now on, i'm peeing anywhere i think is significant - banff, fort edmonton. you could do like niagara falls and anywhere else you think would be important.

      you and your vomit have made my day. thank you

      Delete
  8. I love your writing style, I found this post really witty & enjoyable to read :)

    Now following you on GFC X

    Charlee
    http://mystringaling.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why thank you charlee, you have a very unusual blog name. thanks for visiting and following

      Delete
  9. Congrats on the awards!! Thanks for stopping by my blog :) I'm following you back now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he mariely, thank you for stopping by and following.

      Delete
  10. Congrats, Bev. Well deserved! Did the book call it a "portable pussy?" Was it a mechanical book or a sexual book? I ask because my husband may need this, given my whole "mesh" issue. I, too, have peed (call it squatting) many places but, to my knowledge, not on a national monument. Glad to read you're getting a lot of swimming in.

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    Replies
    1. oh my precious girl, how i've missed you. this was a "how to" book about surviving in the wilderness - how to build fire, shelter, and apparently pussy's. the recipient's 80 year old mother read it aloud on christmas morning to the rest of the family and then asked "are they talking about what i think they're talking about".
      you should pee on national monuments. that's the challenge for 2013 pee on a historic landmark. i so glad you you stopped by. i was afraid i had scared the shit out of you by all that talking i did. xxx

      Delete
  11. I'm so glad you took the sausage queen honor seriously and posted this. Thank you. And thanks for the shout out!

    Of course you love Ricky Gervais and this makes me love you more, along with the fact that you are now the third person I know who loves Of Monsters and Men (oh my god they pack a powerful hook to sadness).

    Also, I can't wait to read your craft blog. I will happily guest post if you ever need to visit Buddy for an extended period of time.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dearest amy, well thank you for the award. see we learning we have more and more things in common. maybe we would have matched on christian mingle :). you want sad listen to florence unplugged.
      i accept your offer to guest post. because one of these days i'm going to slip on the ice and then we'll see what game buddy really has. xx

      Delete
  12. Hi,

    I am a new follower who has found you through a blog hop. It would make me very happy if you followed me back as well at http://www.EnzieShahmiri.com

    Best,
    Enzie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi enzie, cool name. thank you for following and i'll be right over to follow you.

      Delete
  13. number 1 and 5...HILARIOUS!!!! LOL!!!

    http://infinitelifefitness.com
    http://mscomposure.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dear ms. composure. thank you for that lovely comment.

      Delete
  14. Congrats! awards are always nice to receive. The sausage queen, never heard of her. Craft blog? yes please, I'll follow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh sweet pepper rose - god i like saying that. i feel like we're friends already. thank you visiting and following. i hope to have the craft blog up soon.

      Delete
  15. Hello!

    Congrats on winning your award and I stopping by from the blog hop:)
    Have a good evening!


    Carissa
    Lillies & Silk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hello, thank you for stopping by. you have a good evening too.

      Delete
  16. Congrats on the award! I'm visiting you back!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment.

      Delete
  17. Congrats on the award! Thanks so much for stopping by and joining in my blog! Will be back to discover more...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. your name can not be treat and trick. the cookies would be the treat but where is the trick. thank you for stopping by and following.

      Delete
  18. Fantastic - well done. I still need to work out what I need to do with your nomination! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. easy peasy em. just tell us 7 fact about yourself and give the award to 7 people. i cant' wait to read more about you. xx

      Delete
  19. You deserve every bit of fame and glory, Bev. Love, "I will argue someone to death and take joy that they want to kill me." And pain medication. . .LOL! I loved everything about this post. You're the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dearest june, yes people think i'm passive aggressive but really i'm just happy aggressive. glad you stopped by for a visit. xx

      Delete
  20. I humbly except my awards and thank you so much for thinking of me.........I am so lucky to have such awesome blog friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dearest jo-anne, i pretty sure you deserve every nice thing that happens to you. i've read your blog and i know what a grand person you are.

      Delete
  21. Hi Bev, thanks for stopping in to see me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi kelly, thanks for stopping in and following.

      Delete
  22. Congratulations on your award, dear Bev! I don't hate you for not liking the Bloggess. You're right - she's no Sedaris. But I think her book is better than her blog. Maybe you should give that a try. But if you don't like it, I'll adore you anyways.

    I wanted to nominate you for the versatile blogger award as well, but all of the other three beat me to it because they are much quicker than I as I was not caffeinated at the time. Congratulations to you, Blog Mama - you are an inspiration to me every day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh good, you're still talking to me. i'm going to stand in the shadows and observe her for a bit.
      i like being your mother. i have done a great job with you.

      Delete
  23. Dear Bev, congratulations on your well-deserved awards. Your irreverence toward the narrowness of life and views is always so refreshing. And I love to think of you peeing on the plains of Abraham in Quebec. A delightful picture! Thanks for the grin it brought today. Peace.

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    Replies
    1. dear dee, thank you so much. i glad i could make your grin. i did really have to go. xx
      ps still have not been brave enough to order the book

      Delete
  24. Congrats, Bev. Sinea from Ducks 'n a Row here. New follower. Please stop by my site each week for Wonderful Wednesday Blog Hop!

    Thanks! Sinea from Ducks ‘n a Row

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hello sinea, thank you for following. i would love to join your hop

      Delete
  25. Hi Bev,
    Congratulations on your awards! It's very cool to be honored.
    Thank you for stopping by my blog and joining our community. I am following you back.

    Karina
    http://momintheusa.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi mom/karina, thank you very much and thank you for stopping by and following.

      Delete
  26. WELL DESERVED! Congrats to you. Some people try too hard to be funny, but you are a true comedian. Even when accepting an honor...or two, you are frickin' hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Great one :) Awesome photos and great tidbits!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Congratulations on the award. I'm sure you deserve it.
    Have a good day.

    ReplyDelete
  29. 53 comments, holy cow, Bev, you rockstar! I feel like a groupie!! Also: most of that queen's outfit is deranged, but I LONG for her sausage skirt!! And the crown, so tasteful, all those piggies neatly blanketed. Stunning. Truly.

    I peed on the highway and behind a video store and once, terribly, at my desk during a math test in seventh grade, oh the horror, but never a national monument. There is now a hole in the narrative of my life, one that won't be filled till I void on Plymouth Rock and get a sausage skirt. I'm naming this life vacuum "Bev" and you have only yourself to blame.


    Sending much Ladylove your way!

    --sign me: Commenter #54 (!!!!)

    ReplyDelete
  30. (The plain, boss! The plain!!!) You are such a history buff and quite rude for soiling that soil but watcha gonna do when pee comes onto ya?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Congrats on your award(s). I just discovered you thanks to Debra (She Who Seeks).

    As I am planning a trip, please send the title of the wilderness survival book. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
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  33. Hello. I do love you blog and thank you for the visit on mine. I am following you back. Looking forward to read from you. Congrats on your awards.

    ReplyDelete
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  36. I just noticed that her bikini top looks like it is crocheted!

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