Saturday, February 16, 2013

taking my demons out for a bit of exercise.......




i think i mentioned awhile ago that i suffer from the crafting equivalent of erectile dysfunction. in fact, i'm probably the hugh hefner of the condition. i'm surrounded by beautiful product. i possess all the right equipment to make it happen.... and yet when i assume the crafting position; i am unable to perform. the problem is all in my head - like that's a big surprise. i feel such immense pressure to create. i'm like the magician who reaches into his hat and expects to pull out the baby jesus instead of a rabbit. that would be something though.

but ........
it's time to take one for the team. bury my face in the pillow and do it for my resume.  it has occurred to me that i may simply have nothing left to make. i haul it all out and look expectantly at all those supplies. where are you, my little project? maybe i suck or maybe i'm lazy. maybe i'm all dried up - a withered old craft whore. that was a bit harsh. bear with me, remember i can sometimes be a prayer challenge. but today, i must do the deed - brace myself and remember the empire. I have more but I won't use them. I am known locally as the model of restraint.  but craft i must..

because.....
i come from maritimes, specifically nova scotia, where women can craft with their eyes closed. non-crafters are looked upon with disdain. picture my mother, in her platform rocker, the cuff of a mitten taking shape. she waves her knitting needles in the air and punctuates each opinion by thrusting the end of her #7's in your direction. and she says "could you tell me what she does all day. if you ask me that's her problem - she's not keeping her hands busy."

and that my friends is what it boils down to - it's your own fault, whatever malady has befallen you could have been avoided if only you did not have idle hands. they say "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" well in the maritimes "a mitten a day keeps madness at bay"

harsh, i know but unavoidable. so with that in mind i started working on some things. and here are the results


little bag



covered notebooks
recipe book

as you can tell i have given up my brief career as a professional picture taker. as a result all photos were taken on the couch, with my phone pointed slightly north of my lady bits. strictly low-end i know but christ i can't do everything.

bev

97 comments:

  1. Bev,

    Love the analogy. My about page used to read "I love crafts but am not very crafty".

    Not quite the same affliction as you but troublesome all the same.

    Thanks for stopping by The Zoo. I'm a new follower via GFC (http://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=1731204445266420681).

    FYI, I stopped by your Etsy shop (I love paper, scrapbooking, monograms, all of it, smile) but I couldn’t find pictures of your work. In addition, your website link pointed to another site (http://www.blackinkpaperie.typepad.com/). Contact me if you’re interested in working together on a review/giveaway.

    Besos, Sarah
    Zookeeper at Journeys of The Zoo
    journeysofthezoo at hotmail dot com

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    1. dear sarah, thank you so much. well where to start. i'm not on typepad, i have nothing in my etsy store (yet) and my work is not that popular as to have of its own.
      i will contact you once i get my craft blog up and running. thanks for visting and following.

      Delete
  2. I enjoyed reading your posts, you write in such a witty manner. That "a mitten a day keeps madness at bay" part really made me laugh.
    Good luck with your crafts!

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    1. thank you milena.and thanks for visiting and commenting.

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  3. "a mitten a day keeps the madness at bay." ha. i love it. delightful projects. especially that sweet bag. and goodness. i have too many of those little notebooks that are yet uncovered.

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    1. oh my god its you again. i'm so excited. i'm determined to be your bff at some point. i glad you liked it. the little books are so great as pressies.

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  4. The milk carton collage is pretty suggestive, isn't it? And then posing it in front of a pussy? Right after discussing your erectile dysfunction as a withered old craft whore? My Gawd, woman, you're just not getting enough, that's your problem. Keep your hands busy indeed, as you say.

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    1. dear debra, that's how basal my humour is. you will find no high brow antics here. i can't have sex, i'm too old and tired.

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  5. wow....for a minute there I was a tad confused. but that happens since I'm a blonde LOL.

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    1. hi lacey g, i'm sorry i confused you but really it's all dirty talk around here. thanks for stopping by

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  6. I love your writing style (and your crafts) and I'm following you too :)
    MammaNene from SergerPepper.blogspot.it

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    1. thank you mama nene. i'm going to call you that from now on. i glad you took the time to follow and comment.

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  7. To begin with, you are an artist in words. But, I know I've mentioned that before and it makes you uncomfotable, so I'll not say (or type) another word about it today. *grin*
    I love the little bag but truly adore the notebooks!
    I wouldn't worry too much about idle hands sweetie...you have SO much going on in your life, I'd bet all my birds on the fact your hands are rearely ever idle, even if they're not knitting. *hugs*

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    1. dearest chris. thank you so much. and yes things are pretty wacky around here. i'm not as spry as i once was.
      you're very sweet and i like you a lot

      Delete
  8. Hi Bev - I get crafters block quite a lot, I feel your pain : )

    Your bag, notebooks recipe book are brilliant,
    and your cat is adorably cute!

    Thank you for visiting my blog.

    Happy blog hopping : )

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    1. shall i call you haunted or attic. i personally like attic. thank you so much for saying nice things and for following

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  9. You have nothing to worry about. Your crafting and photo skills are superb.

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    1. oh julie, you sweet thing. thanks for that and for visiting

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  10. Replies
    1. thank you abby and thanks for following

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  11. Being blocked sucks rocks. The thing is, sometimes you just can't force creativity. You just have to wait for it to come. I think, in the meantime, maybe you should forget about it and just keep writing. Sometimes a shift of focus can loosen up the creative muscles. Free yourself of the pressure and see what comes of it.

    I love your pictures and especially your notebooks. I wish I had that kind of ability.

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    1. dearest june, you're right being blocked does suck. i always think that the last thing i wrote or made will be the last thing i'll ever write or make.
      thanks for your wise and kind words. i really appreciate them and you

      Delete
  12. This is brilliant, Bev. Love your humor. I spent six years in Norway and if you weren't knitting there...you better be on your skis!

    You never fail to crack me up. I'm so glad you're a prayer challenge. I think I'm following your lead. Thanks for a fun read!

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    1. now annie stop it, you fancy words will go to my head. i'm glad that you liked it and i'm glad you stopped by. i love your writing and am always thrilled to see you here.

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  13. I love the notebooks too. Loved reading you today, as ever!

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    1. hello em. i wish i could picture take like you. you know you rock, don't you. thanks for visiting.

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  14. My spouse actually came to check on me due to my laughter from reading your post Bev - I will never look at or feel the same about getting into a creative slump again - still chuckling at your incredible humor - xoxoxo

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    1. hi cindy, that's how it is around here, sooner or later everything reverts back to dirty talk. you are a creative machine - i'm always in awe.

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  15. Hi Bev! Thanks for visiting & following my Diana Rambles blog. I am returning the favor!

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    1. hi diana, thanks for the follow back

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  16. You seem to have crafters block. I've got it at the moment too.

    Following. Thanks for finding me.
    Carolyn

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    1. dear carolyn, that's what i have, i'm in the process of reorganizing my craft room in hopes of that helping. thanks for stopping by and following

      Delete
  17. Oh you crafty vixen, you. I love your crafts! I too experience craftile dysfunction. I have no fewer than 4 scarves begun but not finished, 2 oil paintings in process, 12 drawings laid aside, and my lame attempt to felt a hat (which is now in a box under my bed.) We should start a support group. Amy can be our treasurer. You, our president. I'll bring the snacks and dance music.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You do not want me to be the treasurer. Can I be historian instead?

      Once I reach 50 followers (yes, 50, because I aim to one day be as awesome as the 2 of you), you will have artistic evidence of why I suffer the Artistic Distraction Disorder.

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    2. dear kate, god, thank you. it is wonderful to hear about others with this condition. i so think we should have a group. i see you and amy in the executive positions because you are younger and won't forget our pledge and past business. i'll bring the tunes- although you are welcome to bring pie. xxxx

      Delete
    3. dear amy, ah the artistic distraction disorder is that when you have a woody but can't remember where you laid it??? god i crack myself up. you'll have 50 followers by next week.

      Delete
  18. Thanks for dropping by the blog yesterday! Following back!!!

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    1. hello danavee, cool name. thanks for following back

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  19. First of all, 31 comments? You whore!

    Second, I would also like to see you pull baby Jesus out of a hat.

    Third, I lurve your crafts. I love that you have them propped against your cat. I love that you photographed them with a phone angled above your lady bits. And I love the combo of quirk and retro graphics. The "love" bag is especially sweet.

    So, what do you think of me starting a craft spot on my blog. Crafty Wednesdays or some sort of garbage?

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    1. dear amy again, of course i'm a whore. and yes pulling a member of the celestial family from a hat is a dream of mine. and thank you for saying nice things about my crafts. and for the lady bit comment. i actually use my bits as the vertex of my photo. lovely image isn't it.
      yes of course, let's chat about craft spot. let's call it that xxxx

      Delete
  20. Love the covered notebooks! Just finally got to find you via your comment, via the bloghop. Lovely blog. :)

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  21. hi kiki. that was hard to type. thanks for finding me and following

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  22. Jeesh. I've never actually come face to face with anyone who peed on the Plains Of Abraham! I've always been so full of myself because I saw Maontcalm's skull before they reburied it (or buried it for the first time I guess), but that is nothing compared to peeing on our most scared shrine. I humbly prostrate myself at your feet!

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    1. hello francie m, i don't know, the skull is pretty cool. maybe we should both prostrate. thank you so much for the lovely comment

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  23. Dear Bev, like Milena, I broke out laughing out the line "a mitten a day keeps madness at bay." Thanks for such crafty wit! Peace.

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    1. dear dee, you are most welcome. i'm just glad you liked it. xx

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  24. just discovered i'm a long-time follower, just i forgot that... could it be from the 15 yr i spent in nova scotia, lower sackville, to be exact? :P

    anyway, like the old saw goes: if ya can't eat it or screw it, piss on it... so ya did ;) lmfao

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    1. oh my god laughing wolf, how did we lose touch and why are you a laughing wolf. why did you stay in lower sackville for 15 years???
      thanks for the funny comment. i'm glad you came to call.

      Delete
  25. I'm finally just able to read this and it prompted delicious laugh--especially a mitten a day keeps madness at bay. I'm going to use that on my husband when he calls me "crazy craft sweat shop" when I'm hunkered over my crocheting. Although I can't do mittens. I too have started 2 different quilts, a scarf, and curtains for my daughter's room. I finally got so frustrated with the unfinished curtains (and with no time to properly complete them) that I just stapled them to a piece of wood and screwed the wood into the window frame. yes, 1 project down, 84 more to go. I also cannot believe you're from Nova Scotia! That is my #1 on my "Places to Visit" list once my kids are old enough to baby-sit themselves :)
    Wonderful post, wonderful humor. Thanks, Bev!

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    1. dearest anna, i love that you stapled your curtains. i wish i could crocheting. i was once asked to leave a farm ladies crochet class after only 2 weeks - the teacher said i lacked the focus needed for the art.
      nova scotia is a wonderful place to visit, such a nice mix of history and fun. after university i moved to alberta and married a farmer so feel free to bring the kids to see the rockies.
      thanks for the lovely comment

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  26. Hi Bev! I found your blog through Debra (She Who Seeks). I came over to check it out, and I loved it! So, I'm becoming a follower. I, too, am from Nova Scotia! But, unlike you, I am a frustrated crafts person. Now that I am retired and when I catch up on a few necessities, I hope to indulge in quilting and needle crafts. Have a good day!

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    1. hello fundy blue, what a great name - either separate or apart they work. don't you just love debra. i'm glad you found your way over here and liked it. thanks for the very nice comment and the follow.

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  27. Debra sent me over here - she highly recommends your blog. And I can see why! I love it here. And such a lovely Kitty. The Siamese has such a sweet face. :0)

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    1. hello jeanne and welcome. thanks for the sweet words and the follow

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  28. I would like to order the "Love Button Bag" for next year's Valentine's Day. Please fill it with pretty paper hearts and foil wrapped chocolate and a small pink mitten. xo

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    1. you should just get on out here and help me make it or i shall eat all the chocolates and just add the foil. xxxx

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  29. I love the notebooks - they are soooo cute! I'm following you via GFC. I host Fluster Creative Muster Party on Wednesdays and I would love it if you would come by and party with us. Hope to see you there!

    Hugs, Smiles, and Blessings,

    Robin
    Fluster Buster

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    1. hi robin, thanks so much for following and inviting me to your hop. i'll be right over.

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  30. Replies
    1. hi mel, thanks for the follow and the nice comment.

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  31. Lovely blog...love the look "vintage"...
    Have a nice weekend !
    Hug
    Anna

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    1. dear anna, i love vintage things. thanks for the visit

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  32. Aloha dear, thank you so much for stopping by! Of course I'm following you back. Nice to meet you, let's keep in touch! With love, Coco

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    1. aloha coco, well aren't you friendly. its nice to meet you. thanks for following back and yes, let's keep in touch. love bev

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  33. Thank you for visiting my blog! I'm returning the follow!

    I think I'm having some craft-ile dysfunction myself... I need to bite the bullet and just start making things!

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    1. hi thrifty crafty girl, may i call you girl? thanks for the visit and the follow and yes go forth and make something.

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  34. Hi Bev, thanks for finding my blog so that I could find yours. I love your writing style, made me smile. Even your followers are eloquent and smart with their replies. I adore that little bag and wish I was as crafty. My husband is still waiting for me to figure out how to sew on the button that fell off his shorts last year. Cheers to finding new blog friends!
    Sam

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    1. dear sam, you have a very pretty blog and a very pretty family. i glad you like the bag. i can't sew a button on a shirt or mend anything. thanks for following and saying nice things about me and the posse. cheers to making new friends.

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  35. Hi Bev - thanks so much for coming by and following - I'm here visiting am now happily following back!!!
    Ain't life grand lol ?
    " Christ, I can't do everything " lmao -
    XOX

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    1. hello suzan with the sexy spelling of your name. thank you for following and i love a girl who can lmao at my swearing.

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  36. Hi Bev, thanks for coming to my blog and following. That gave me the oppurtunity to find your awesome blog! I'm following you now.

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    1. hi lor k. i'm glad you stopped over and followed. thank you so much i appreciate it.

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  37. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I know exactly what you mean when you look at all your supplies and you just can't make yourself make anything. I'm currently trying to push through a bit of a dry spell also. Keeping hands busy to solve problems? Haha. Will have to give it a try and let you know how it goes. :)
    xo,
    Mary

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    1. dear mary, all tucked away in your hideaway. busy hands are the key. let me know how it goes. thanks for commenting and visiting

      Delete
  38. Thanks for following my blog via Aloha hop :D

    I just followed you back!
    Very interesting blog, Lots of reads!
    Your cat is so pretty!

    I will be ready more posts soon.

    ~Jenny
    ibdfm.blogspot.com

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    1. hi jenny, this was a lovely comment. like a little letter. you new bag is lovely. thanks for following

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  39. Thanks for stopping by and Following ~ I'm now following you too. :-) I LOVE the first blk/wht photo in this post ~ awesome! Happy Saturday~

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    1. hi, first ollie makay is a great name. it sounds like someone i should know. thanks for stopping by and following.

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  40. Wow you have such a well written blog! Gosh I wish I could write as well as you! Writing was never my strong suit. Oh and I love your covered notebook and the recipe book. All recipe books should look like that! Cant wait to read your future blog posts :]

    - Katie

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    1. dear katie lousie, that was the sweetest comment. thank you so much. you have made my day. you look like a little pixie in your picture. thank you for visiting and following

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  41. Haha. So funny, I think in my mind, I want to be that way. Thanks for stopping by.
    I hope you can bring some of your witty writting to participate in the conversations every Wed/Thursday and Post your questions on Thursday Two Questions Meme

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    1. hello there you person with wise and discerning named amanda. thank you for stopping by and following. i will be sure to check out your conversations.

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  42. Your so funny, and I love the kitty pic. Thanks for dropping by WV Stitcher I hopped over to return the follow. Can't wait to read more of your posts! Have a fantastic Sunday.

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    1. hi brenda, thanks for saying nice things about me and for following. i love your occupation. you have a fantastic monday

      Delete
  43. Thanks for checking out my blog! Following you back :)

    Xoxo,
    Missy

    http://colorthat.blogspot.com

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    1. hellos missy dorius, you name is as pretty as your picture. i appreciate you commenting and following.

      Delete
  44. LOL, love it, Bev! I too have crafting, "erectile dysfunction." Perfect term for it!!

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    1. thank you carmen for saying you liked the post and i'm glad to meet another person with my disorder. thanks for stopping by

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  45. Having read this I believed it was extremely informative.
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    But so what, it was still worthwhile!

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    ReplyDelete
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    1. aha, my first anonymous comment. i glad you appreciated my thoughtful coverage of my erectile dysfunction - my crafting erectile dysfunction. i glad you took the time to comment. and i'm glad it was worthwhile.

      i think you are looking for someone with an actual willie. i checked out your site and you "ward" seem to be a female looking for a man. but then i checked a bit farther - just like nancy drew and you may be a man. whatever the case i have no men available at this time, but perhaps i whip one up for you. you have only to ask. thanks for the visit. anon

      Delete
  46. Ahhhaha... I so needed this laugh after a move from hell which is still not finished. I've decided to steal your phrase and make it my new mantra... "christ i can't do everything".

    Seriously Bev, write a book or something, you have an amazing gift.

    And the comments crack me up damn near as much as your posts do. And I love that notebook.

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
    (¸.·´ (¸.·`¤... Jennifer
    http://jennsrandomscraps.blogspot.ca

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  47. well i'm impressed by the few crafts i've seen - those notecards are amazing! thx for stopping by my blog! I'm excited to find yours to inspire me!

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  48. You know what the outside world says about us Maritimers Bev? "We're so friendly, we're stupid"? At least that is what the woman in the bus station in Kamloops told me. :)

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  49. I am surrounded by fantastically gifted crafters, but have none of the ability myself. I am just not creative in that way and wouldn't know how to put stuff together if I was.

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  50. Finally! I get to see your wares! I especially like the covered notebooks. I'm attempting to de-artsnob myself after years of art school. I used to love doing crafts ... then my teachers demanded existential angst and insight into the human condition from everything my hands created. Too much thinking makes Jill a dull girl... and drives me a little batshit crazy. Egad, lady, the stadium concert that was your comment section a few months back is now the united nations summit. I feel like a speck waving in the distance.

    ReplyDelete