Monday, September 3, 2012

in lieu of angels.......

 
 
 



today is my birthday..

"all my life i have wanted to be older and now i am"  i thought this was a  margaret atwood quote but i have searched and searched and can find no credit for it. it is possible that i dreamed she said it. margaret and i sometimes inhabit the same dreams. maybe i said it to her. so i guess for now i'll own it. my little mantra for this big birthday. the year that dips the bow of my boat into the waves and i begin to take on water.

so, here's a tale about my yearn to normal

 i have a friend who loves to host parties. as a result we have get togethers for nearly every occasion.  when i say get togethers i mean lady get togethers. these are not swanky urban parties but instead low key and very rural.  we have egg decorating parties, christmas parties, halloween luncheons and of course home shopping parties, where we can purchase anything from scented candles to ladies' power tools. and when i say ladies' power tools i mean actual power tools not vibrators or giant rubber wankers that suction cup to the wall.

so on one of these occasions a fortune teller was hired.  and during the party we were to go off one by one and have our future looked over. i was eating deviled eggs and listening to those who had already gone tell their tales. one lady was weepy because she had received a message from her deceased mother, another was warned of a problem with her kidney but the most frequent talk was of angels. everyone had a varying number of guardian angels watching over them. benevolent celestial companions providing a supernatural buffer between you and god knows what.

when my name was called i jumped right up. my only thought being "i hope i have decent amount of angels." because you see, besides being needy i'm also competitive. so up the stairs i went to the hostess' back bedroom, now a mystic lady den.  the psychic was nice and normal looking - in a sweater set and a-line skirt sort of way.

the first thing she's says is "oh my, you have a very strong presence". i said something like "yes, that's me, what i lack in beauty i make up for in strength. so i sit down and she takes my hand and closes her eyes and i stare at her preparing to hear my final angel count.

she says:  you have many, many spirits around you.
i say: "excellent"

she says: you have one man that seems to be the leader and he's leaning over your right shoulder.
(i think: "oh that must be my dear father")
i say nothing.

she says: i think his name begins with an e. eddie maybe.
(i think: for christ's sakes whose eddie.)
i say: it may be my father, he's passed on.

she says: no, he is a stranger to you
i say: a stranger named eddie is looking over my shoulder. what is he doing

she says: he's watching you
i say: right. like an angel

she says: no, he's not an angel he's just a spirit. there are a whole group of spirits behind him
(i think: jesus, here we go)
i say: are any in that group angels

she says:  no, just restless spirits. there are men and women and one lady has sheep with her."
(i think: well, for god's sakes, i'm jesus).
i say: what are they all doing behind me

she says: they're just watching you and talking. i can't hear what they are saying, there's so many of them talking at once. eddie seems to be telling them what you are doing.
(i think: well i'm certainly getting my money's worth out of this.)
i say:  do you see anyone who could possibly be an angel?

she says: no, you just have this group of restless souls observing you
(i think: my god, my life is a side show even for the departed. could this be anymore like beetlejuice).
i say. excellent.

then she opened her eyes and peered at me through the dim. i was extraordinarily uncomfortable at this point as i was being watched from both sides.. so to speak  she says "i really would like to try and understand this more.  would you be willing to meet with me again. i wouldn't charge you." in my head i'm thinking" i'll talk it over with the group and let you know." out loud i said "i don't know." she handed me her card and i got up and went down stairs. 

like a spoiled child i kept thinking - i wanted an angel but no, i have to have eddie and some sheep. for one god damn time i just wanted to be special like everyone else.  after rejoining my friends one of them asked me how my reading went. "completely normal  i said," i had 5 angels."

bev

70 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday Bev! I hope eddie and the gang have planned a supernatural extravaganza of epic proportions for your special day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you. i don't trust eddie as far as i can throw him

      Delete
  2. Happy Birthday, Bev! I think we can safely add psychics to the list of things I'm terrified of! But I hope you have a truly splendid day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh thank you baby kate. don't be worried i'll hold your hand

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  3. Happy Birthday, you wonderfully crazy Lady! (I cannot wait for our call!)
    Oh, and tell Eddie to back off, he's crowding you. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yay! thank you. i can't wait to talk you lady. yes, eddie is getting a bit handsy

      Delete
  4. Happy Birthday to you, wishing you an amazing year and many more to come!

    Wow, that was quite the encounter with a psychic... maybe there are spirits around us, maybe not, but I am definitely sure that Angels are watching over you!!!

    Thanks for visiting my blog yesterday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well hello there, sunshine. thank you for the wishes and the visit.

      Delete
  5. Happy Birthday belated! And that reading was awesome!! The sheep was most like "Eddie's" ddaaadddd (insert baaing like a sheep here.) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ha ha. i'm just going to type out magical mystical mimi because it's quite a lovely name. thank you for coming

      Delete
  6. Hope you had a wonderful birthday, Bev! Such a fascinating tale. I bet your restless spirits would have grand stories to tell. My guess is that they picked you because you are special. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you christie. yes, they will probably sell their stories to the enquirer

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  7. It's simple. YOU are an Earth Angel; Eddie is the Dean of Earth Angels at Angel Academy, Sunset Terrace, Heaven, NS; backup spirits are first year students of the IWannaBeABevyAngel course. Eddie's saying "Watch & learn,my little spirits...just watch & learn...".

    Happy Birthday, Sept sister. xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jesus sus, are you smoking smack again.

      happy birthday my little sissy. xxx

      Delete
  8. Happy Belated Birthday! Following back from the blog hop. Angels are a big part of me too, so I am happy to meet you on this particular post! Have a great week. Stacie xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you stacie. you are very pretty. are you offering up one of your angels

      Delete
  9. New follower! I love this post so much. I have always wanted to be older too. I love the beauty that comes with age, and I wish more people would embrace it. I must REALLY want to be older. I just found out a couple of months ago that I am actually 34. I thought I turned 35 two years ago!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ok princess mama you are not old. at 34 you have yet to even smell old. i am past my best before date.

      Delete
  10. Returning the follow. Cute blog! Thanks for stopping by! Happy Birtthday to you!!!

    Hosting Like Me on Facebook is about a minute. Love for you to link you your facebook and twitter ;)
    www.thenaptimereview.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for visiting julie. no one has ever called anything about me cute.

      Delete
  11. Hi! Thanks for stopping by and following along. I'm returning the favor :)

    I'm loving the simple and different layout of your blog! Looking forward to reading more.

    http://nuggetonabudget.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kera, thank you for visiting and following.

      that's me simple and different

      Delete
  12. You have a lovely blog, following on GFC. Thanks for visiting Call Me PMc and following!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks paula jones. thanks for visiting and following

      Delete
  13. Happy day-late Birthday! Maybe you're Eddie's angel. A guy named Eddie would probably like to have an angel with your sense of humor and access to power tools. Maybe a psychic is reading Eddie right now and saying you have an angel named Bev. (I am a little concerned about what Eddie might be doing to the sheep ... which is probably why he needs an angel who lives on a farm and can tell him that sheep are meant to be shorn.) My recent blog post feels entirely too serious now, dammit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. firstly, i feel quite lame about telling people about my birthday.

      secondly, you dirty girl.

      Delete
  14. Happy (belated) birthday! Thank you for visiting my blog, I'm following you back now :)
    Of Thoughts and Things

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you visiting and following ashley kelly

      Delete
  15. I hope you are an awesome birthday I love birthdays......I don't think of myself getting older just more mellow and laid back.......lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you miss jo-anne. i am getting quite laid back - mostly to the napping position

      Delete
  16. Happy Birthday Bev!!! And thank goodness they were sheep. Hate to have think of my sis fending off something like rams. Nice parable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dear sis firstly thank you. secondly, rams are sheep. thirdly, i think you are giving me way too much credit. i had to google to make sure i knew what a parable was and then realized i was quite incapable of creating one. xx

      Delete
  17. I hope you had a wonderful birthday, Bev. I got such a kick out of this story. And, like Terri, am wondering about the sheep...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jesus june. you and terri. i'm friends with dirty old women. now i'll forever wonder what's going on behind me.

      thank you for the birthday wishes

      Delete
    2. dear terri - 2 sheep jokes for you

      why do cowboys marry women?
      because sheep can't cook or clean

      how can pick a sheep farmer out of crowd?
      he's the one with the velcro gloves

      Delete
    3. I just read these to my husband. He said, "I wonder how often that really happens." He's so bad. Or, rather, baaaaaahhhhd. (Now I'm just being a dork.)

      Delete
  18. following back! thanks so much for visiting today! happy birthday!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you nicholl for visting and following

      Delete
  19. Nice blog you have...wanna follow each other?
    please follow with GFC, just leave me a comment and I'll follow u back!
    http://namelessfashionblog.blogspot.it/
    http://www.facebook.com/NamelessFashionBlog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. god elisa you make that sound so seamy. sure i'll be right over

      Delete
  20. Happy (late) Birthday! Great post!! Maybe you can lead Eddie and his sheep somewhere amazing. I've ALWAYS wanted to have a "reading." Are you going back?

    ReplyDelete
  21. thank you haunani. no i did not return but this halloween we are have a luncheon and a different phychic is doing readings and so we will see what she sees.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I couldn't sleep so I started looking around for that good book I was reading. Then I remembered that it was your blog. Sigh.

    Can I come to the witch luncheon this year?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hey!! following from the GFC blog hop!!! hope to hear from you soon :)

    xoxo - kylie

    www.kandcamera.com

    ReplyDelete
  24. Dear Bev, what I'm wondering is did you use her card and call her to find out about those spirits? Maybe they were spirit guides. I found this whole posting an absolute delight. You reminded me of a little girl who wants a certain Christmas gift and keeps throwing aside the gifts, looking for that one gift, and ignoring an iPad, a lap top, a trip to Disney World--all tossed aside because the child's mind is on one tract--that one gift (for you the number of angels)--that means I'm special like everyone else. I'd say having spirit guides made you pretty special!!!! Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi Bev, I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I'm just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
    http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/

    ReplyDelete
  26. Belated happy birthday.

    I think I'd rather have spirits than angels, though the sheep thing worries me a little.

    I guess if they stay downwind...

    ReplyDelete
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