Friday, December 14, 2012

the christmas story..........




christmas is starting to do my head in.

the lovely terri posted her thought provoking piece surrounding the whole naivety scene. she brought up things i had never thought of before. here a bit of the post...

"but I couldn’t abide another year’s witness to Mary, prodded upright and kneeling, minutes after giving birth........Eyes glazed, these resigned Marys perch up on their knees—all the way up, restrained even from resting their bottoms on their calves".

 bloody hell, mary kneeling beside the baby jesus. i have since found myself obsessed with the holy creche. i look at them everywhere i go. today shopping in every store i kept stopping to have a peek at mary's position. when i saw one where she was up too high i found myself saying, "jesus, mary sit down." i never was bothered by them one way or another before, but now i think about them far too much. quite by coincidence, i watched a travel show the other night where they visited bethlehem and saw the manager and the whole bit. people were bent over peering inside the fenced off area.  i wanted to shout at the tv, if mary's there, tell her to sit the hell down.  people at home, i implore you, if you do have a manger scene this holiday season and mary happens to be kneeling like she in the blocks ready to do the 100m dash, push her over and let her lay on her side for a bit.

also
i've been reading on facebook recently a lot of chatter about bringing "my christ" back to christmas. because i rarely think things through - i thought it must be one of those word scramble things. well obviously i found christ right away, but where was "my?" there was ma christ but that sounded gangster. man, let's hang for "ma christmas". i then found sam christmas. that was a sort of a da vinci code moment for me. had i found some hidden message. i decided not. so in the end i failed to find my christ in christmas which is probably just as well because i would expect a big present from him.

finally, i leave you with this

earlier this month i was talking to my mother on the telephone. she asked me for a $300 gift card from walmart for christmas. i know, pretty damn specific and pretty damn a lot.

she also said
"don't mail a parcel.  i don't want anything for my stocking. well, not a lot anyway. don't send a bunch of crap and don't get me heavy stuff because you're just wasting your money on postage."
i said "right, gotcha ya"
i thought to myself "my god, she's like a child, she'll be asking for a pony next

so the following week i talk to my mother again to find out if  "light, crapless parcel and the gift card" had arrived safely
and immediately
she says "i don't want a tv for my birthday"
right, gotcha ya. i say.
then she says "so you can just think of something else or send me a gift card to somewhere.
right, i say, did you not get the card i sent.
yes, she says but that is for christmas, not my birthday.
gotcha ya i say.

jesus christ i know she's 89 and i know she's forgetful but honestly, she got all the other detail about my life correct. she knows who i am.  does she think i've perhaps come into a bit of money. some big win at bingo or something.

well
happy holidays
bev
ps follow the link to read terri's funny, poignant "away with the manger"

55 comments:

  1. Nothing like a good word scramble to exercise your brain.

    Happy weekend,

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
    (¸.·´ (¸.·`¤... Jennifer
    http://jennsrandomscraps.blogspot.ca

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    1. yes, jenn gotta love em. thanks for visiting.

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  2. I need to learn to say, "Right. Gotcha" rather than try to reason with unreasonableness. I can picture you at the mall, eyeing nativity scenes, the wheels churning in your head. Oh, how I wish I kept a hold of my good humor as much as you do! Alas, mine fades when overwhelmed by darker forces... sometimes. Thank you for the link, you badass-haired saucy farmer's wife, you. That's very sweet!

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    1. dearest, the position of mary haunts my dreams. i pushed two mary's over in one store and place and sheep behind her in another.

      you still have your good humour, i've read it. quit telling people about my hair - i'm a mystery.

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    2. Just as long as you didn't position one of the three kings behind one of the sheep. So, nothing about the hair. Gotcha. Is "saucy" okay?

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    3. naughty girl, on second thought you could tell people you've seen me and i'm gorgeous. xx

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  3. I warn you that I'm about to become pedantic.

    People think that the concept of "the Immaculate Conception" relates to Jesus' birth, but really it relates to Mary's birth. It means she was born without Original Sin, the idea being that a human would have to be 100% holy to be worthy of being the Mother of God. Okay, so being born without Original Sin means that childbirth would not cause Mary any pain or difficulty whatsoever, because pain in childbirth was God's punishment on Eve (and every subsequent woman) for causing Original Sin.

    So it follows that Mary could have been up dancing a jig about 2 seconds after giving birth. It would not cause her any problems to kneel for hours, simply hours, on end afterwards.

    And people say that religion makes no logical sense -- sheesh!

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    1. dear debra, i'm glad we got that sorted. so it seems that this whole jesus thing is the greatest "story" ever told. :)
      thanks for the informative comment, i cannot believe how much i do not know.

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    2. Debra, Being a Catholic convert, I was thinking the same thing.

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  4. LOL! Now every time I see a Nativity Scene, I'm going to be thinking "Poor Mary, would someone please get that girl a pillow or something?"

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    1. exactly kellie, never in my life will i be able to pass the holy mother and not offer my assistance. thanks for visiting

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  5. Hi! Thanks for following {The Pink Momma}. I'm now a follower. Looking forward to read more of your post :)

    Anne

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    1. hi anne, welcome to the gang. thanks for visiting and following.

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  6. Hey Bev. Thanks for your comment on my site, I Create Purty Thangs. I'm so glad you invited me to your blog hop, (which by the way I haven't found!!!). I just spent the last hour reading some of your posts. You are hilarious. I will come back and read the rest when I have more time. You could easily make a book out of your posts.

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    1. thank you julie. yes, apparently i made up my own blog hop. i'm glad you found you're way here. you very sweet to say nice things and follow.

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  7. Hi there! Thank you for finding my blog, Ever Sincerely, and leaving a sweet comment! I adored this post and can not wait to read what's next. I'm following back!

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    1. hi krystenn marie. thank you for visiting and following back. you're very nice

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  8. Hey! Great blog you have here! following you and waiting for more! Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog!
    Best, Zia
    http://tisallaboutthefashion.blogspot.in

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    1. thank you zia risra, very cool name. thank you for visiting and following

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  9. Oh great, every time I see a Nativity set I will be checking on poor Mary now and making sure she is comfortable! ;)
    Is your mother really my mother-in-law in disguise?!? She really, really does this...

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    1. thank you candy for pledging to check on mary. i will sleep better. my mother could be your mother-in-law, that would make us related - cool.
      thanks for visiting

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  10. You are freakin' amazing! I swear, ever since childhood I've wondered about Mary popping out a baby in that dirty stable. How did she avoid infection, who caught the kid, did Joseph see her Mommy-parts and did it freak him out so bad he never wanted to see them again and that's the REAL reson they never got it on? And yes, my Preacher WAS convinced I was possessed because I did ask him these things. *sigh*
    How about we just keep the love and laughter in the Holiday and let everyone decide on their own how the hell to celebrate it? I think I dig that one better. *evil grin*

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    1. dearest chris, i was banned from sunday school at age 10. i had some revelations about the other mary. i would have loved to have gone to church with you. we would have been like those 2 old guys on the muppets. the voices of reason.
      ps i think you're freakin' amazing

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  11. I never thought of Mary that way....I am going to go lay her down for awhile.
    I have become my mothers mother. I understand. I have to take her to get all of her Christmas things accomplished this week because she cant do it on her own. I actually offered. I obviously like pain. Have a good weekend!

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    1. hi laura, i'm glad this lay down mary thing is catching on. good on you for looking after ypur mom. thanks for coming over

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  12. OMG, I'm in love with your blog and your sense of humour. Can't wait to get your postings in my inbox every day!!

    And by the way, I think we have the same mother!!

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    1. well hello heather. i'm sorry to say there will not be posts everyday. i'm not that clever. but thank for saying nice things. are you my sister. thanks for visiting

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  13. Replies
    1. dear feral turtle, cheers from your new friend. thanks for following

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  14. I haven't felt the same way about the traditional nativity story since giving birth myself. From the moment Joseph says to his hugely pregnant wife, "C'mon, honeybabe, hop up on this donkey, we're road-trippin' to Bethlehem!" I am DONE. And I once had a baby on December 21, Mary and I are totally sisters on this one.

    I love my little ceramic creche, but Mary's getting tipped right this instant. And maybe also some swaddling clothes to tuck around her. (Currently, our Einstein bobble-head is in the parade of wise men, and Elvis is serenading the blessed babe, i.e., the King sings to the King of Kings; it is not esp. reverent but it is wicked funny.) (We *leave the farm animals alone*, though; have some respect, people.)

    I simply adore your blog! I'm using it as a weight-loss treat; after a healthy lunch, I get to read a little bit from Bev's archives. Thank you!

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    1. my dear lady. i'm so happy you are providing after birth care for mary. you nativity set is bad-assed. i think you should produce them for the public.

      i glad you like my blog. i have never been used as a weight loss incentive. i'm flattered but now such pressure - please feel free to have a cookie. you're beautiful the way you are.

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  15. Sweet post, and so important after the horrors of yesterday's events. Thank you!!!

    I am your newest follower, returning your follow. I look forward to more visits.

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    1. thank you meryl. yes, yesterday was a sad and terrible day. i glad you came for a visit and decided to follow

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  16. It is a delight to read something positive esp after yesterday's tragedy.

    Your new follower :) Ruchira

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    1. hi ruchira, thank you for visiting and following. i glad i made you smile.

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  17. Hi there! Thanks so much for following me. I'm following back :) Happy Christmas!

    Katie Pea
    http://craftycrazylife.blogspot.com

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    1. hello katie pea. thank you for commenting and following.

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  18. Ok I never gave Mary much thought well in regards to how she is seen in nativity scenes but now that I think about it I can see your point.........lol

    As for you mum well I have nothing.........

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    1. come on jo-anne, you must have something on my mother. i too, never thought of mary until terri and her insightful post. thanks as always for stopping by

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  19. Sounds like your Mum and mine are sisters! Thanks so much for following me and I am following right back!

    ouroldhomestead.blogspot.com

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    1. hi debbie. that would make us cousins. thanks for visiting and following

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  20. Hi there!! I found you somewhere in the blogosphere and LOVE your blog!!! I'm Hanna and I am your newest follower!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! You can find me anytime at www.bouffeebambini.blogspot.com

    xoxoxo Hanna

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    1. hello hanna. i glad you found my blog. thank you for saying nice things and for following. i come right over and return the favour.
      xoxo

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  21. I feel the same way, Bev! Ever since I read Terri's post, I've been scrutinizing nativity scenes like nobody's business! Great post! :-)

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    1. dear baby kate, the whole mary thing is like an "ah ha oprah moment for me" thanks for coming over i know it's been a rough few days. xx

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  22. Following you from the hop cutie pie great blog!!
    XO
    http://abpetite.blogspot.com/

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    1. dear ashley, are you flirting with me? thanks for visiting and following

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  23. Just wanted to pop over and let you know that I've featured your blog today on my post Wednesday Weekly Review #20!! :) (http://blueeyedbeautyblogg.blogspot.com/2012/12/wednesday-weekly-review-20.html)

    Helen
    Blue Eyed Beauty Blog
    Exercise Encouragement Group Blog

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  24. Hi - thanks for the follow last week! I'm now following you because you are hilarious!
    love it!

    Lindsay
    www.knowbetternow.blogspot.com

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  25. I hope you're having a great week my dear!
    Thank you so much for linking up to last week's Aloha Friday Blog Hop!! I'm following you.

    If you have time, we'd love to have you come and link up to the Aloha Friday Blog Hop if you haven't already! We are hosting a great giveaway too which is a wonderful opportunity to give some extra exposure to you lovely blog. Come and link up, enter the giveaway and celebrate the coming weekend with us!

    Aloha,

    Jean {What Jean Likes}

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  26. I have honestly never stopped to think of Mary and think of how she was posed. Now this will bother me.. thanks.
    I also can't believe your mom asked for a $300 gift card to walmart. wow.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Following you back now.

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  27. I just got your blog pinned to my Pinterest board: blogs I've featured! (http://pinterest.com/pin/143200463123388304/)

    Helen
    Blue Eyed Beauty Blog
    Exercise Encouragement Group Blog

    P.S. Feel free to use the button I created if you'd like! I just like making them and I really think the one I made for your blog turned out good! I have a code for the buttons here: http://blueeyedbeautyblogg.blogspot.com/2012/11/blogging-tips-create-blog-button.html

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  28. I wrote a really irreverent essay/story about doing a 1,500 piece jigsaw puzzle of the Anunciation. At the end, one piece was missing: Mary's fucking nipple.

    That's all I'll say about that.

    You are a truly gifted writer.

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  29. Glad to have found you! Following you back!
    Love, Olga

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  30. Hi, Great post. I found you through the blog hop. Please stop by and say hi when you get a chance. Have a great week.

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